Hookers with Decent Credit?

One thing that the typical prostitute is generally not willing to do with her hands is balance a checkbook, so more often then not, she mismanages her wealth and lives in substandard conditions. But, due to circumstance, a privileged few do live a life of luxury.
Shining as a beacon of hope to the less fortunate pavement pounding sisters, these chosen few walk different streets... like Rodeo Drive, and Madison Avenue. We're not talking about high-priced call girls like Heidi Fleiss, those women might make more money, but they are still doing it to earn a living. We're talking about someone who usually has plenty of money, but they crave attention though, and lots of it... This person is, the "Media Whore"!

La Toya Jackson. Here we see LaToya dressed in her work uniform, as Captain and Chief Engineer of the "Michael Jackson Gravy Train". Due to her brother Jermaine Jackson's new "Express Line Service" to the same destination, she has had to work extra hard since Michael died. If she had been born in any other family, LaToya would likely be holding down a street corner somewhere asking guys if they were a cop in an attempt to peddle her wares... and by wares, I mean orifices.
Luckily for her orifices, she has plenty of gossip about Michael and the rest of her family to peddle instead. Michael's loss really was a tragedy, but LaToya, we still don't care about you... No matter how many talented siblings you might have had in your family... Oh yeah, it was 2.
Look out Janet, about a year from now LaToya is going to be circling closer and closer to you, like one of those donation funnels you roll a quarter into. Still irrelevant, yet getting tons of press, LaToya, please be the Captain of this Rocket to the Sun? You've already got the hat...

If you've ever tried to picture a crack-whore with an expense account, look no further... Ann Coulter, proof that a botched sex change can cause a post-op transsexual to shit out their mouth.

Like most bottom feeders, Ann's has a specialized mouth, Ideal for scraping algae and waste from the sea floors or the side of a fish tank. But it wasn't until the age of forty, when she was released into a Republican GOP Headquarter hot-tub, that she finally discovered her true calling.

Unfortunately, as part of "Catch and Release" legislation sponsored by the liberal agenda, Ann was pried from the part of Rush Limbaugh where balls would normally be, and tossed back into nature. Ann never forgot how the flotsam and jetsam of the ultra conservatives, and neo-nazis had sustained her for what she thought, were maybe the best sixty years of her life.

Seen in this photo on the left, Ann began living as a human girl after her release at the age of 100, and several poorly performed facial reconstruction surgeries later. Still, she never gave up, Ann knew she was meant for greater things.

With a final operation to be de-clawed, and have her gills removed and fashioned into a make-shift vagina, her transformation was complete. It's been at least another twenty years of spewing hate since, and Ann hasn't looked back. Maybe it's because so much of her life was spent underwater, draining nutrients from republic assholes, but she can't seem to get tired of hearing her own, new found, voice.

Congratulations Ann! You are today's "Profiles of Cuntittude"